Today is my first "real" blog.  (I don't really count my introductory post because, well, that one was pretty easy to write).  So, I contemplated what I would write about today.  What was going on in my life?  What had God shown me today?  What silly thing had my kids done or said?

Well, last night Callie (age 7) told me that she was glad we were in a new neighborhood with new friends, she was making new friends at church, she had a new gymnastics place, there was a Chick-fil-a a lot closer to her house (apparently this is of utmost importance in her mind), and that we had a new place to worship.  This was an answered prayer for me.  The transition for us to our new church has been an emotional one.  I have prayed for my children to have an easy time with it and while we are still working out some things, this simple statement helped me to see that, yes, we are getting there.

For all of us (as in us as a people, not us as a family), we have things that have shaped us and helped us be who we are.  But in the midst of the shaping and molding and becoming, we all have struggles.  We all have things we battle every day.  For me, one of those struggles is this feeling that I am not someone who is worth getting to know.  I have a feeling that I am not the only one who struggles with this.  Sometimes, I wear this struggle on my sleeve and sometimes it is well hidden.  However, the irony here is that I actually like myself.  I love my personality.  I love people who are just like me and I want to be around them all the time.  But, then i get brushed aside or looked over or someone starts talking to someone else while I am in the middle of saying something (yes, for those of us who talk a lot, this happens quite frequently) or any number of others things could happen and my mind will literally start going crazy!!  I will internalize things, analyze things, and perceive things to be a certain way.  But, guess what?? In the same way that I am not trying to hurt others feelings when I do the same thing, they are not trying to hurt mine.  We all have our issues and sometimes what we don't know about a person or don't see in a person is their struggles, their trials, their weaknesses.  But we all have them.  So, perhaps, I extend people grace, just as grace has been extended to me.

But let's go back to that feeling of "not worth getting to know."  I think about this a lot.  And here is the thing:  This is a lie.  I have no other way of saying it.  Maybe other people don't want to take the time to get to know me but that is okay.  I read Psalm 139 and God knows me so intimately.  I want to know Him that way as well.  But, look at how well He knows us:

  For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well.

Do you see it?  He knit us together.  His works are wonderful.  Wow!!

Here is another from Ephesians 2:9

 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

We are his workmanship!!!  Again, wow!

So, maybe the next time I am feeling like I am not "worth getting to know," I should look at how intimately God made me.  I am not some random person.  I was created by God and He created me for a purpose.