The other day I started thinking about the fact that I already need to re-prioritize my life. And then I received a Christmas gift in the mail (I know, it is the end of February but this had been on backorder). It was a planner that my in-laws had bought for me and I was so excited to finally receive it. At the beginning of each week, I can look and see what I hope to accomplish. There is a spot for me to list priorities and, again, I was struck with the need to really examine what mattered to me. I have to be honest, I am at a different season in my life than I have ever been, and it is not an easy place to be. I have basically had the opportunity to start over. But, this is easier said than done. I have really had to put myself out there to form friendships and I have had to forge ahead even when I don't feel like doing it. It is tough to be "the new kid." So, with all of this in mind, I sad down to decide exactly what DOES matter to me?
My first priority is that I desire to have a stronger relationship with Christ. All of my other priorities will not be in any particular order but this one has to be first. It truly is my hearts desire. I hear others teaching on things of the Bible or I see the way they live their life and it challenges me. It challenges me to not only know Christ but to strive to be more like Him everyday. Time with Him has to be my first priority. If my relationship with Him is strong and where it needs to be, then all of the other relationships in my life will be strengthened. He has to be first.
My next priority has to be my family. But this one is not as easily defined. What does it look like? Well, I need to be the wife that my husband needs. I need to do life with him. I need to do ministry with him. I need to be his biggest cheerleader, not his harshest critic. I need to make him a priority, not an afterthought. I need to be completely honest with him at all times. We are in this together. I need to be the mom that my kids need. Since I homeschool, their education has to be priority for me. I can't let their education slip. However, this doesn't necessarily look the same everyday. And it doesn't necessarily look the same as it does in a classroom. I don't think homeschooling is for everyone but it is right for our family. I think all of us have to figure out what works best for us and know that God is calling us to raise our children the way that He calls us to. But beyond school, I am called to so much more with my children. Am I leading them in the ways of Christ? (which is far more important than their level of education) What kind of people do I want my children to be? Am I giving them tools to flourish and the confidence to handle failure? Am I giving them guidance to be everything they should be and could be? Am I being the soft cushion they can land on when they don't succeed at something? Am I giving them a good, solid foundation to not be afraid to try new things? Am I showing them how to put others first? Am I modeling Christ for them? Am I giving them the solid spiritual foundation they need? Most importantly, am I pointing them to Christ? It is not important that they succeed in everything they do. But it is important that they know how to face life's successes and failures knowing that Christ is with them.
After these two, my priorities are not necessarily in any particular order. It is important to me to focus on relationships. I desire to have an open home. With that open home comes the responsibility of having it be presentable. My home is not going to be perfect but it has to be a priority. We are STILL moving in and STILL unpacking boxes, but if I truly want my home to be open to anyone, I need to spend some time on it each day. This is not easy with three children who are home ALL DAY LONG. But it is doable. I have an app that I use to help me with this. It gives me a list of things to do each day. It is not overwhelming and I can usually get everything done within a 45 minute to an hour time frame (The app is Motivated Moms. I believe they also have a website). I also pass off whatever chores I can to my children. This relieves quite a bit of stress. I have just decided that this is something important to me and so I need to concentrate on my home and be intentional about it. I also have to continuously put myself out there for people to get to know me and I need to ask people a ton of questions to get to know them. This is really not a big deal except I have to do it all the time, with all ages of people. I am naturally an extrovert but making myself vulnerable is not always easy. A dozen thoughts go through my head: what if I say the wrong thing, what if they don't like me, do they even want to be my friend, and a dozen other questions. This is not something we grow out of (at least I haven't) but these are the times I have to go back and remind myself that I am who God created me to be. My worth doesn't come from others but from God, and He thinks I am pretty special.
Because I have decided these are the priorities for this stage in my life, there are some things that I have to let go of. Some of those are my television watching, my reading, and my game playing on my kindle. I haven't given these up totally but I have severely limited the time I devote to each one. My reading is done when my children are reading. My television and game playing are done after my children go to bed (and sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night). Also, right now I am not as big into my couponing as I was before we moved. Don't get me wrong, I still do it! I am just not willing to spend hours working on it.
I am not naturally an organized person and so keeping these things in mind will constantly be a battle for me and sometimes my priorities will get a little off-centered. But I hope that by writing these down, I can make some progress in each area.
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