The other day, I started a prayer journal. Let me just say that it is not a "normal" prayer journal where there are all of these beautiful prayers written down. (I have tried that before and it doesn't work for me. I am in awe of people that do that however.) My prayer journal is simply a three-ring binder with paper and at the top of each sheet of paper is either a person's name or a category and I simply list out my prayers for them. I can then go through and pray for each one more specifically. Anyway, the reason I tell you all of this is not to have this whole "look at me" moment but to tell you something else. When I created this journal, I wrote down my verse of the day and it was Isaiah 53:3 "He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom me hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." So, every day I open my journal and I see this verse.
Today, this verse struck me. I just kept focusing on the part that says "he was despised and rejected by men." Remember, this is talking about Jesus. Jesus was the guy who fed 5,000 men plus the women and children (and we don't know how many of them there were). Jesus was the guy that people were bringing their sick friends too in order for him to heal them. Jesus was the guy who kept the woman from being stoned. Jesus was the guy who had ridden into Jerusalem on a donkey and the people basically threw a parade for him. And yet, this verse talks about him being "despised" and "rejected" by men. Those are some pretty strong word pictures.
However, we see that less than a week after he rode in on the donkey, the people were calling for his death. Despised and rejected indeed. And yet, here I am and I get upset wondering whether or not people like me. I get upset if people "offend" me in some way (even though whatever they said may not even actually be offensive) I get my feelings hurt if someone doesn't respond the way I want them to. Despised, rejected, a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. Jesus had a betrayal the types of which I don't even think we can fathom. Despised, rejected.
Just thinking about all of it kind of got me out of my self-pity moment and put my focus back where it needed to be, which was off of myself and onto Jesus. I think of all of this and then I think about Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
May my focus always be on Jesus. May I run with endurance. May I stop getting caught up in self-pity.
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